


Shallow Grave, Shallow Bae

by SamCyberCat



Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - 50 Percent OFF, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 06:52:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11481006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamCyberCat/pseuds/SamCyberCat
Summary: It's a nice evening to bury a dead body. Or at least, Nagisa assumes it is. If he's honest, he finds the whole thing kinda creepy. But if this is what Rei's into then he's not going to judge.





	Shallow Grave, Shallow Bae

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AmberGalaxy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmberGalaxy/gifts).



> Birthday gift for StarryAmber. Some Reigisa based on 50% OFF, because I wanted to do something unexpected for you this time. This is definitely my first time writing fic based on an Abridged Series. I'm not even sure if you're supposed to do that, but here we are.

He was down in that hole with a ruler, so he could measure out its size to the exact damn millimetre. There was something wrong with that boy. But as Nagisa's eyes drifted over to the dead body (meticulously wrapped, of course) lying next to the hole, he figured that Rei's obsession with details wasn't the only thing that was wrong with him.

“Hey, so this is nice and all, but when you're done how about you and me make a stop at my personal drive-thru, if you know what I'm sayin',” Nagisa called down to him. Not that he had to call very far, since the hole wasn't that deep.

Rei glared at him and then tutted. Typical Rei.

“Please. It's already enough of a risk that I've let you see this much. Do you really think I'd want to 'hang out' with you, as you'd say, once we're done?” he scoffed.

“Hey! It ain't my fault you went all crazy stabby psycho on this guy, is it?” Nagisa replied, “Not that I'm judging or nothing. I've done time for worse. I think.”

Honestly, Nagisa wasn't entirely sure. His whole life was kind of fuzzy. Heck, he'd probably killed someone before, maybe even a lot of people. And if people got shot while he was out, then that kind of wasn't his fault. Sometimes things just happen. But he didn't... like, set out to kill people like Rei seemed to do, it was just a by-product of whatever else he was doing.

“Nagisa, this was not a random act of violence,” informed Rei, “I'd been planning his demise for months, only for you to turn up at the last moment and throw everything into jeopardy.”

“You'll hurt my feelings if you keep that up,” Nagisa said, making a show of clutching his heart, “I just came to check up on my favourite boy. Is it too much to ask to be able to do that without finding him takin' someone out because they probably had an overdue library book that he wanted to borrow or something?”

More soil was shoved out of the hole.

“I'm not that petty, Nagisa,” said Rei, “This felon was the last one remaining from a group who made my life miserable when I was nine. He called me such names as you could never imagine, but now none of them will be calling any names any more.”

“And you say that's not petty?” Nagisa replied, “Okay, so homeboy was kind of a bully. But I call you names all the time and I don't see you tryin' to stab me in my sleep. Unless you're waiting for seven years to pass to make it all poetic or some shit.”

At first Nagisa thought he wasn't going to get a response to that one, as Rei turned his back to him and resumed his digging. But then after a moment Rei spoke up again.

“I gather that your names come from a place of endearment. So for now, I'll tolerate them,” he said.

“If that's what you wanna call it, then sure,” Nagisa laughed, “But for real, is it so hard to admit that you like me?”

“This is what you want to ask while I bury someone?” Rei deflected.

“Good a time as any. Look Rei, we've porked more than Makoto's had to drag Haru's ass outta the bath before he drowns. Well okay, maybe not that many times, but you get the picture. We got mad chemistry, you and me. But I could do with hearin' that you like me as well sometimes. I'm a sensitive soul, y'know?” Nagisa prompted.

“I don't work that way,” Rei snapped.

Then he ducked his head down into the hole to focus on the digging. Even though the damn hole still wasn't that deep, so he had no need to go down that low. Nagisa rolled his eyes.

“Come on baby, you can tell me anything,” he pressed, “I'm watchin' you dispose of a body, so I reckon it's safe to say we crossed the trust bridge way back when.”

“Only because you were persistent,” Rei retorted. But then he did sit up and turn back to look at him; “...I like what we have. There, I've said it. But I struggle with certain parts of it. I can't seem to process empathy in the same way that you do and I'm sorry if this bothers you.”

Oh shit. This was like a big confession moment. Nagisa should sit up and take it seriously before he screws something up. Because that was the last thing he wanted to do with Rei. So he shrugged, since playing it cool seemed like the best way to go.

“Nah man, I've got enough empathy for the both of us. I'm like, Mr. Empathy. Ask anyone in town,” he assured, “Rei, I know you work differently to other people, but that's cool. I do too. The two of us are fucked up enough together that this just works.”

“Ever the romantic,” said Rei.

“What else were you picturin' for your love life?” Nagisa replied.

“I wasn't, because I'd never wanted one. But as I said before, you were persistent. And I... appreciate that you don't mind that I struggle with the emotional side of this,” Rei said.

“Aww... you're welcome, babe. Look at us, havin' a little heart-to-heart like this. Makes me wanna tear up over here,” Nagisa gushed.

“Fine. But before you do that, could you help me lift him into the hole and bury him back over? It would save time if we both did it,” asked Rei.

The moment was officially ruined, but Nagisa didn't mind. He got up and walked over to the body, which had barely had time to settle into rigour mortis. As Rei climbed out of the hole, Nagisa nudged the body with his foot.

“You sure that hole's big enough? It don't look very deep,” Nagisa checked.

“Three and a half feet is the exactly correct size for a shallow grave,” Rei replied, “Unless you'd rather we were here for any longer.”

“Nah, seems fine to me. I don't care enough to Google it and see if you're bullshittin' or not,” admitted Nagisa.

“I never bullshit,” Rei assured him.

“Good for you,” Nagisa retorted.

With that, the two of them each took one end of the body and carried it over to the hole. Rei carefully lowered the top end in and placed it down. Nagisa just dropped the feet. They made a snapping noise as they hit the earth and Nagisa could see the frustration pass across Rei's face, but he let it slide. Rei was getting real good at anger management these days and Nagisa would like to take full credit for that.

...Then again, given that they were right now burying a guy that Rei had murdered, maybe Nagisa still had some work to do in Rei's anger management department. These things take time though. And Rei was worth all the time in the world. Like a slow-cooked joint of beef.

Speaking of which...

“Hey, once we're done do you wanna hit up Dave before goin' back to my place?” Nagisa asked, “Have a nice night in, just you and me.”

“I suppose my evening was free after dealing with this,” admitted Rei. He was only pretending to think about his answer and Nagisa knew it. His Run-Buns would never turn him down. Rei nodded; “...All right then, I'll fit you in.”

“Oh yeah, you'll fit me in real nice,” Nagisa purred.

“Nagisa, you're ruining this,” Rei muttered.

“Come on, you can't set me up like that and expect me not to take it. I got standards, y'know?” Nagisa insisted.

“I know. I also know that you could do this all night if we don't get a move on,” replied Rei. He pointedly turned back to shoving the dirt over his victim, “And I don't want to wait too long.”

“Sounds like you're eager tonight,” said Nagisa. Not that he was complaining. Eager Rei gave him tingles.

“I'm efficient, not eager,” Rei hummed, though Nagisa could see the smirk as he turned his head away.

“And here you said you never bullshit,” Nagisa replied, as he picked up the second shovel. Hey, if Rei had brought two shovels then he must have planned for Nagisa to join him after all. That was actually pretty romantic, by Rei's standards.

When Rei didn't respond to him, Nagisa deemed the debate won and chalked up another victory on his mental list. Maybe one day he'd one-up Rei too many times and find himself floating down the river, but for now he liked to think that maybe the two of them had something special. Even if it was mostly sex, criminal activity and a mutual understanding not to go to the cops or tell Makoto about any of it. That was good enough for Nagisa and it seemed to be good enough for Rei as well. They had to be meant for each other, right?

Well, even if not, at least they were meant for tonight and Nagisa could live with that.


End file.
